Mindless rambling number 1.

Say what what you need to say,  God, I hated that John Mayer song.  I thought it was terrible. It was pop-ish and the same three lines over, and over, ond over.  Even more obnoxious, is that it was true.
Say what you need to say, otherwise, one could be considered masochist. Words one never use grow stale, then start to rot inside of us, deteriorating the good we might have inside us.
 I learned the hard way why it is that John Mayer's simple minded song is so right. If only I could go back a year or so to tell myself this, who knows, I might have actually listened for a change. But back then just couldn't break through the tough shell I have built  around myself. Walls that was built in the first place as a sort of denial, that way I didn't have to fully experience the love, pain, and the whole 9 yards of the American teenage journey.
  All of high-school I had bottled up my thoughts an emotions, letting them ferment inside. Then one incident my senior year of high school (and like all good high-school stories, in involves a girl)  finally caused this bottle to shatter.  All those words I should have said, those emotions I should have acted on. had rotted away for too long inside my head, and when that bottle of emotions broke they literally became toxic. I was sick 24/7 for the last few months of high-school and weighed lest than 128 lbs, which is borderline severely underweight  for some one  over 6 feet tall. I was beating my soul into a pulp in a vicious cycle of  anger  at myself and at the girl.
Luckily this somewhat melancholy and self depreciating first blog does have a happy ending.  Some how a voice of reason broke though my very thick skull, and things have been going much better. I learned that how to properly deal with my emotions and finally forgave her, and more importantly, I forgave myself. I got much healthier, and I no longer look like a under fed twig.... I have at least the physical appearance of a normal twig. Overall, I shelved my pride, and took John Mayer's stupid, catchy song's advice.  It doesn't always work perfectly and some people won't understand, they may enven rebuke at this newfound voice of your's. however, as long as you fully realize and reconcile your thoughts, embrace your emotions, and speak with an impecable honesty, life starts to become just a little bit easier.